Our Relationship with Maggggi

MAGGGGGGIIIIIIIIII! We know it’s unhealthy. We know it gives us chubby stomachs, and was banned for a brief period.

But we also know we can’t live without it!

So here’s a little insight into our relationship with maggi……It will only take two minutes to read yaaaaarrrr…

1. Baby stage: Sleepover Maggi

When gossip and maggi created the best school memories.

 

2. Baller stage: Camp / Hostel Maggi

When you make your maggi this way or that way!

 

3. Badass Stage: Office Maggi

Now this list is long…..

When it’s raining heavily, there’s got to be maggi!

 

When you get corrections at 7 pm and you’re overtiming….companion maggi!

 

When your work is rejected….mood maker maggi!

 

When there’s no lunch, so maggi!

 

 

When maggi is the only thing in your budget

 

4. Boss stage: Dinner not good maggi

Do you have the audacity to tell mom that the dinner’s not good and make maggi?

Yes I do

……….but only after a slap

 

5. Binge stage: Addicted to Maggi

Netflix and…….maggi

Maggi! Maggi! Maggi!

Do we really need a reason to eat maggi?

On that note…let’s make some maggi!

Things we should do today because Zindagi Na Milegi Dobaara.

Life is so short and our list is endless. There’s so much to do in so little time.

And these bloggers I tell you, are giving us major FOMO. With so many ‘life goals’, ‘food goals’ and ‘travel goals’ to achieve, we know we will “definitely do it someday”.  But do we really do them?

 

Here is a list of things which we are going to do someday. Or will we really?

1. Doing that ‘really effective YouTube workout’ in the gym because personal trainers are out of budget. #fitnessgoals

Attitude: “What if people judge me? Will they think I’m over smart?

What you really do: ..I’ll just do cardio.”

 

 

2. Printing your vacation photos and making an album. #takemeback

Attitude: “I’ve Instagrammed that stuff. I looked hot and people knew I was in Mauritius when they were in Mahableshwar. What else do I need?”

Meanwhile…..Your ‘Mahableshwar Friend’:

 

 

3. Following Pinterest DIYs

Attitude: “This is so cool! Let me try this”

How we do it: #DIYgoals

 

 

4. Backpacking – it’s literally on everyone’s wish list. #offthebucketlist

Your attitude: Dude it’s gonna be epic!

 

Mom’s attitude: North India mein akele? NEVER!!!!!!!

 

 

5. Dusting the fridge magnets – The most clichéd, mandatory and only affordable souvenir from an exotic vacation. #vacationdiaries

Attitude: “I get one Sunday off. Let me relax!”

 

 

6. Going to that ‘awesome’ food place which is really far because Instagram tempted you. #foodgoals

Attitude when you see a picture on Instagram: “Dude, we soooo have to go there. It’s like yum on another level!”

 

“Yeah we’ll go when he takes the car”

 

 

7. Downloading music. #jugaad

Attitude: “There’s Jio, there’s YouTube offline. I can’t sit to download songs and sync them in my phone again. It’s too much effort.”

And when the net plan expires:

 

 

8. Meeting your school/college friends who live so far away in the same city. #friendshipgoals

Attitude in college: “We are inseparable”

 

“No, we don’t meet that much now .She lives in the suburbs, like seven stations away.”

 

9. Making that ‘homemade face mask’ because YouTube said its works like magic. #selfpampering #spaathome

Attitude: “I’ll apply it before any big occasion. Right now I don’t have the time.”

 

And wait for it…..

10. That adventure trip because Zinadagi Na Milegi Dobara.

 

You know it’s never gonna happen.

 

I know everybody has touring the world on their bucket list.

But till we make that money, lets give it a start somewhere……

 

Types of Women in Mumbai Local Trains

Living in Mumbai, it’s impossible that you’ve never travelled in the famous local train.

Whether you’re a regular commuter or a one-timer, at one point of time let’s admit it, we’ve all been there. (Unless you’re unfortunate enough to not even ride once)

Since the past one year, I have been travelling for over 12 stations daily in the Ladies coach. So it’s safe to say that I am qualified and well experienced to tell you the types of characters..sorry to say, women I have come across in my journey.

It’s hot. It’s crazy. It’s unbearable! But it’s one hell of an experience.

And you know what makes it interesting? Let’s find out:

1. Self-proclaimed Queens – ‘FIRST-CLASSERS’

Attitude when they issue a First-Class Pass for the first time: ‘Second class is sooooo crowded. There is “no breathing place!I have to look respectable when I reach work.”

 

Attitude after a month: Honestly during rush hour. NOTHING MATTERS. How do these women even manage?

 

 

2. One-time First-Class Ticketers

Attitude on purchase of ticket: “It’s better to travel in first class. ” My outfit and make-up should be in one piece when I reach the event.”

Attitude after getting off of the train: “It wasn’t that crowded today. I wasted my money.”

 

3. The Pushers

Attitude when they board the train: “Arey aagey jagah bohot hai. Aagey jao! (Just go ahead you idiot!)

 

Attitude when they finally get ‘ahead’: “Don’t push me. Can’t you see there is no place ahead?”

 

 

 

4. The ‘fourth’ seaters

Women who ask for a fourth seat on three-seater bench just to fit half of their bum.

Attitude when asking for a seat: “Excuse me. Just shift na little.”

Attitude when asked for a seat by someone else: “Can’t you see there’s no place at all? Should I sit in your lap?”

 

 

5. The Adventurous Foot-board lovers

Attitude before boarding the train: “Standing on the footboard is the best. At least it’s windy and I won’t die of suffocation.”

Attitude after boarding the train: “Can’t you see I’m standing on the footboard. DON’T PUSH! I will fall!”

 

 

6. The Hair Criers

Women who get ‘hurt’ by hair.

Attitude when someone’s hair touches them: “Aapke baal lag rahe hai” (Your hair is hurting me) “Why do you have to keep your hair open? Its touching my shoulder”

Attitude when their own hair touches someone: “I don’t know what problem these women have with my hair. I am a woman and I will have hair! Bloody idiots.”

 

 

7. The Back-Packers

Women who carry too much/bags larger than some people’s homes.

Attitude when someone tells them that their bag is causing inconvenience: “I can’t put my bag on my head! If you can’t adjust, then get off.”

Attitude when compartment is empty: “Let me put my bag up in the stand. Then I can sit peacefully and nobody will get hurt.”

 

 

8.  The  Badass Freebies

Ticket-less women commuters.

Attitude when caught without a ticket in first class: “I’m new to Mumbai. I didn’t know this is first class. I’m travelling in the local train for the first time. Mujhe marathi nahi aata”

Attitude when caught without a ticket in second class: My uncle is the hospital and I couldn’t wait in the long ticket line. I’m already very late. Please let me go.”

 

 

9. The Double-Standard Queens

Attitude when buying from hawkers in the train: “30rs is too much for this earring. 20 mein done kardo. (Rs20 is good enough)”

Attitude when buying from malls: “Dude its just 700 for this piece. That’s a throwaway price!”

 

 

10. Cat-fighters

Fighting in First Class: *fights in English* “Just shut up you bitch! No you’re a bitch!”

Fighting in Second Class: *fights in Hindi *“Haath peechche kar. Muh tod dungi!”

 

P.S – I am 5 out of 10 of these women.

Mumbai Local Trains – We crib and we cry but always continue to travel by. 

The Great Indian Wedding: Men v/s Women

Weddings! Like it or not, all of us dress up and show up, most for the food and some for the mood.

Having been to my fair share of weddings and posted a truckload of twirling ghaghra photos on Instagram,  I can say that these shaadis require a lot of effort and prep.

Well….let’s just say the men have it better.

Here is a list of the hilarious hassles women have to deal with over a man, as guests at the great Indian wedding.

1. Dress up:

Women: Clothes that weigh more than you.

Men:  The same you wear to a meeting, a party and a date.

 

2. Pre-wedding getting ready session:

Women: Waxing, bleach, facial………

Men: Bathing.

 

3. Getting ready:

Women:  Moisturizer, primer, foundation, powder, highlighter, blush…(and that’s just the base)…..eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, kajal…….

Men: Perfume.

 

4. Hairstyling:

Women: Ironing/curling that takes two hours to complete and two minutes of no air-conditioner to ruin. May God help you if you put those hair extensions and flowers!

Men: Gelling their hair is enough. It’s a bonus if they bother to shampoo before that.

 

5. Photo sessions before the wedding:

Women: One, two, three hundred, four hu…

Men: “This is the last time I’m taking your photo. We are already late!”

 

6. Photos at the wedding (where aunties and uncles become pros at photo-bombing)

Women: Selfies, twirling photos, groupfies, more twirling photos.

Men:  Trying to take one decent photo without having women say, “Here take my photo.”

 

7. Food:

Women: “First let’s take all the photos. After food my lipstick won’t stay.”

Men: “Why don’t you take your own plate girl? “

 

8. Handling your belongings:

Women: “My clutch is too small. Can you keep my phone in your jacket?”

Men:  “Sure. I’ll keep your phone in my jacket.”

 

9. Greeting extended family

Women: “No no, I still have time to get married. At least not till I’m 25.”

Men: “I’m just 25. It’s too early for me.”

 

10. Greeting the Couple:

Women: “Aww you look so pretty!” (My make-up’s better than yours!)

Men: “Bro finally you’ll get it. Congrats!”

Aah! The things we do for free food.

 

 

How to win a woman’s heart!

Romeo did it with his eyes and Rahul with his name. Yet, most suffer in this game.

While chocolates and flowers may do the trick momentarily, winning a woman’s heart in the long run requires a little some-some to do the charm.

So what have you got up your sleeve? A few tricks from yours truly.

1.Support her ambitions

She doesn’t need another ‘aunty’ telling her what to do. She’s a woman of the 21st century making money and battling stereotypes. Support her career and you have her heart.

2.Period Pampering

Some cute text messages and a family pack of her favorite ice-cream. Follow this and you’re golden.

3. Lend an equal hand 

Women love guys who cook and clean. If women can work in offices, men can help around the house. Period.

4. Be busy

You don’t have to inform her about your lunch, dinner and bathroom breaks. Often but only genuine messages throughout the day make you look responsible and classy.

5. Call back!

Can’t stress this enough. You’re busy, we get it. If you don’t call her back sooner or later, you’re in for a fight!

 

6. Gift Cards are life-savers

If your choice is blah and her choice is different, don’t bother taking the effort. Gift cards keep everyone happy.

7. Accept that she’s busy.

She didn’t take your call. Maybe she’s in a meeting, chilling with her girlfriends or wearing a face mask. Don’t worry. You respect her time and she’ll do the same for you.

8. Just Call

Once in a while pick up the phone and call her when she least expects it. It’s gonna make her day.

9. Surprise pick up

Show up at her workplace and drop her home once in a while. That’s what a gentleman would do.

 

10. Golden Rule: Just let her be.

She’s a mature adult with her own choices. Do not attempt to control her life. Give her, her own space and she will never do anything that hurts her man.

How to Cope With Mid-Week Crisis Like a Boss

Mid-life crisis is so old school.

In this generations of millennials, what we now face is a ‘hashtag’ mid-week crisis!’

After soaking in those weekend vibes, the dreaded Monday is reserved for the weekend hangover. Come Tuesday and you’re all charged up. You’ve finally got your ‘work-mode’ on. But by the end of Wednesday, you’re hitting the bar!

If yes, then you my friend are facing a mid-week crisis. So what happened between achieving goals and Wednesday night drinks?

Waking up. Commuting. Work. People. Repeat.

From celebration to heartbreak, the first thing that comes to our minds is “Chal daaru peene jaate hai!” How else do you think ‘Happy Wednesdays’ became a hit? After all, Saturday night partying is a whole three days away.

Incase you’re too late or even worse, it’s a dry day, WORRY NOT!

Here are some alternate ways to deal with your mid-week crisis:

Indulge in soul-food

Whether it’s hot chocolate, butter chicken or simple mac and cheese, whatever makes you happy! Cook it or even better, order it. Nothing is more joyful than a satisfying meal.

Get Moving

Sweat out those calories along with your troubles. You’re probably too tired to put on your shoes. Just do it this one time. It’ll become a habit!

Spend some ‘Me Time’

A coffee shop, laptop and a steaming hot brew is all you need to be your own therapist. Spend little alone time and give yourself some space to breathe.

Scribble the crap out

Write down your frustrations. Break those pencils and vent out your emotions. Done? Tear it and throw it. It feels real good.

Chocolate Therapy

Chocolate makes you feel loved. After a long long day, a little sugar rush never hurt anybody.

Feel-good purchases

Buy something that makes you happy. After days of liking and wishing you had it, fulfill your Instagram fantasy. Buy cute stuff. It may not be a necessity but self-pampering is mandatory.

Family time

These are the people who will love you even when you’re a hot mess. A game of scrabble or watching a movie together, families have healing powers.

It’s time for Coffee

A quaint little café or a hot new one, soak in the vibe of the place. One dish, one cup and some soothing music is enough to unwind your thoughts.

Take a walk on the beach

Roll up your pants, toss those shoes and walk on the beach barefoot. Be it with a friend or just your music, a walk by the sea is a great stress-buster.

Play with kids

They may not be yours, but playing with a child is happy time for over-worked adults.

Bathe

Why just cleanliness? De-stress those muscles with a soothing shower.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

The best therapy ever. Be it watching re-runs of the show or gossiping with your gang, friends are the family we chose. Call them up NOW!

 

 

5 Reasons Why Padmavati Should Be Released Tomorrow

As you must have read….Rs 5 crore is being offered to anyone who successfully beheads Deepika Padukone. Apparently, to protect a woman’s honour, you need to violate another woman.

The fate of this talented actress aka. Rani Padamavati from her upcoming historical saga and the eventual release of the movie has become the next big thing aka what the nation wants to know!

More than its larger-than-life setting, the movie is in the limelight for all imaginary reasons. Even after a ‘clean and clear’ review by India’s leading journalists, inappropriate assumptions about the movie has left us wondering,”Is it even going to release?’

Whether paid or escalated, that’s definitely the best PR. Come to look of it, it all comes down to Padmavati being the most-talked about movie, a wanna-be organisation put on India’s map, and national issues brushed under the mat.

Irrespective of the all the drama surrounding this movie, it should definitely be released. Here are 5 Reasons Why Padmavati Should Be Released Tomorrow:

1. So that the audience can finally chill!

2. So that we can see more of SRK and not SRKS

3. So that the Government can focus on ‘actual’ issues

4.  So that the news reports what the nation needs to know!

5. So that the 5 crore prize money can be used for better purposes.

 

First Blog Butterflies….

Well, well, well……so Gokul came to me with this brilliant suggestion of starting a blog and get myself out there as a writer. ….a blog about anything and everything with a tangy twist. I love the idea but when I started to write I realized that I just couldn’t write! Trying to be as good as Aakar Patel definitely counts as setting high goals….but when it turns out to be a well curated disaster, you’re in for a rude shock!

So here’s what I have learned about myself and have finally mustered up the guts to note it down plain and simple……….

• I have all my sangeet songs planned but I don’t want to get married.
• I have bought a dozen books which I put off reading every now and then.
• I hoard “skin-nourishing” moisturizers and forget (deliberately forget #lazy) to apply them when needed the most.
• I watch hundreds of “What’s in my bag” videos but my bag is never organized.
• I buy new nail polish only to end up using the old ones when they’re expired.
• I buy perfumes for their bottle shapes and not the fragrance. I can barely even smell it!
• I don’t know the difference between a face mist, body mist, body spray, etc…..let alone their exact purpose but they’re all in my wish list.
• I’m an artist who buys other artists’ paintings. In my defense “I’m just encouraging the artist community!”
• I wear leggings and short tops to the gym hoping that panty lines will magically disappear.
• I’m a writer but I don’t write everyday. Ok I will change that!
• I can’t eat much but overstuffing myself everyday is an understatement for me.
• I’m fat but I believe I’m thin. Let’s settle for plump!
• I don’t find time to pray everyday because I’m too busy building a fountain in my virtual garden in Gardenscapes!

Well the cat’s out of the bag finally!

To be really honest, I made this revelation just to get everything out and about.

Recently an old classmate of mine became a beauty blogger. I salute her. Atleast she has the balls to get out there and start new things. I guess I need to learn a thing or two!

Saying “I’m not scared of failure” is one thing and hesitating to write my first blog speaks otherwise.

“Funtastically Feminist” is an excellent name Gokul has gifted me with. I will not waste it.

Thankyou Gokul for pushing me to write (and making me a content writer). Well this post is the outcome of five blogs he rejected outright! And finally I have my first one.

Hope you enjoyed reading! See you next time!