The Great Indian Wedding: Men v/s Women

Weddings! Like it or not, all of us dress up and show up, most for the food and some for the mood.

Having been to my fair share of weddings and posted a truckload of twirling ghaghra photos on Instagram,  I can say that these shaadis require a lot of effort and prep.

Well….let’s just say the men have it better.

Here is a list of the hilarious hassles women have to deal with over a man, as guests at the great Indian wedding.

1. Dress up:

Women: Clothes that weigh more than you.

Men:  The same you wear to a meeting, a party and a date.

 

2. Pre-wedding getting ready session:

Women: Waxing, bleach, facial………

Men: Bathing.

 

3. Getting ready:

Women:  Moisturizer, primer, foundation, powder, highlighter, blush…(and that’s just the base)…..eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, kajal…….

Men: Perfume.

 

4. Hairstyling:

Women: Ironing/curling that takes two hours to complete and two minutes of no air-conditioner to ruin. May God help you if you put those hair extensions and flowers!

Men: Gelling their hair is enough. It’s a bonus if they bother to shampoo before that.

 

5. Photo sessions before the wedding:

Women: One, two, three hundred, four hu…

Men: “This is the last time I’m taking your photo. We are already late!”

 

6. Photos at the wedding (where aunties and uncles become pros at photo-bombing)

Women: Selfies, twirling photos, groupfies, more twirling photos.

Men:  Trying to take one decent photo without having women say, “Here take my photo.”

 

7. Food:

Women: “First let’s take all the photos. After food my lipstick won’t stay.”

Men: “Why don’t you take your own plate girl? “

 

8. Handling your belongings:

Women: “My clutch is too small. Can you keep my phone in your jacket?”

Men:  “Sure. I’ll keep your phone in my jacket.”

 

9. Greeting extended family

Women: “No no, I still have time to get married. At least not till I’m 25.”

Men: “I’m just 25. It’s too early for me.”

 

10. Greeting the Couple:

Women: “Aww you look so pretty!” (My make-up’s better than yours!)

Men: “Bro finally you’ll get it. Congrats!”

Aah! The things we do for free food.